Trapeze and self-expectations

Three years, when I was taking trapeze for the first time, I was in somewhat better shape than I am now, but it was nevertheless hard.  I remember that the way it kind of worked was that I would learn a new trick, and on the first day of learning it, things would go pretty well.  I would do some semblance of it, make several catches, and feel pretty good.  The second time, though, the teachers would point out improvements I could make, at which point I would be completely unable to do the trick at all -- thinking about the 7 things that could be better left me unable to execute even one.  Then, after a lesson of this, my brain would integrate it all somehow, and I'd be able to to finally pull off the trick again, with somewhat better technique.  Rinse, repeat, and this is how in 10 weeks of trapeze, I learned how to approximate, in safety lines, about 2.5 tricks.  I'm a slow learner. :)

This time around, I started with a trick I "learned" last time (I put that in quotes because, as I said above, I only ever really approximated anything).  On one hand, this was a good thing -- I know I can do this because I've done it in the past, it's a fun trick, and it doesn't feel like totally starting from scratch.  On the other hand, because I remember being better at this particular trick before than I am now (and I have evidence of this on YouTube, as most of you know), there's a part of me that's thinking, "wait, how come I keep failing now?"  Today was especially bad -- last week was my first time back, so I a) had an excuse and b) did a little better because the teachers were focusing on helping me do the trick in any way possible and not on technique.  Today, I got more technique feedback, with the predictable side effect of having me lose it entirely. Ugh.  I knew this would happen, but it was still a little demoralizing. I did manage one catch, on my very last try, so I left on a good note.  It did get me thinking about expectations, though.

I know that I do this entirely to myself.  I was so anxious before I left for class this morning, butterflies in the stomach and all!  I was thinking about how I'd probably do poorly (and I did), how other people would think I was slow or not doing well (as far as I know, they didn't), and how the teachers would be disappointed because they try so hard to help and I just can't get better (as far as I know, they weren't).  When I got to class and started flying, I settled down a bit, but the drive there was sort of anxiously miserable.  On the other hand, having the experience of doing poorly was probably good -- I got to see that even though I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, the consequences were pretty minor, and that other than me, no one else had any real expectations of how I should've been doing.  The teachers are great at working with students where they are, now I just need to work with myself where I am.

So now, I'm left with the task of figuring out how not to beat up on myself.  Partially, this will be helped by getting generally more fit.  However, I think I need to actively make some cognitive changes.  I'm sure other people have this experience, where they're their own worst critics about a hobby or something else that's supposed to be fun but that they want to do better at.  How do you all deal with it?  I've learned (to some extent) to manage this with school stuff, but I feel much more competent when it comes to that than when it comes to trapeze!

Turns out that keeping up routines while travelling is hard...

So, with me being gone for 5 days, it's been a little difficult to stick to plans.  We tried, though, and did...mostly ok.  Have a summary, in yet another, slightly different format.

Fitness: Despite being across the country from one another, Mu and I both did the scheduled C25K sessions on Sunday and Tuesday.  We moved to 4 minutes of walking and 1 minute of jogging for 30 minutes, and it actually didn't feel any harder, which I think is a sign that something is working, ever so slightly.  We'll do the last workout with those times today, and then move to 3:1, most likely. 

Sleeping: Mu says his sleep schedule is still a work in progress, and mine was all over the place, with the Boston trip and all.  I'm gonna try to get back to a midnight-8am thing and see how that goes.  I was reminded at my conference, though, that performance is correlated with sleep in a 24hr period rather than nighttime sleep only, so I think as long as I keep my rise time steady, it's ok for me to get a little less sleep at night and take a nap.

Eating: My food intake was really all over the place with travel, and I'm not keeping track of my weight.  Mu says he hasn't lost any weight this week.

Language: Mu did 2 modules of the online Russian course he's taking!  I was amazed to have a little text exchange with him in Russian, it was great!  I haven't done any Italian yet.

Writing: As predicted, I haven't done any.  But, I've put blocks into my calendar for next week, so that's progress, right?

Cooking: Nothing new, with being gone.  Planning on cooking tomorrow afternoon, most likely.  Plus, I'm probably gonna go to the farmer's market with my dad on Saturday.  At 7am.  Maybe.

Activities: Not much for me, except for lots of socializing with sleep research friends.  Mu did spend time with friends and family while I was gone.  We're putting lots of interesting things into our calendars, though!  I'm pretty excited for next week.

I gotta start taking pictures of something to include in my posts, but what?  I also need to figure out some weekly features.  This blogging thing is taking effort! :)

Summer of self improvement is up and running

I realized after the very first day that detailed daily summaries were gonna get tedious for me and probably for everyone else.  I think I'll do a weekly update instead.  However, updating the blog only once a week seems like too little, so I'm going to think about what kinds of other things I can write about that would tie in to the stuff we're working on without being annoying.  I'll probably bring back the link dump, but not today. :)  For now, have a summary!


Mu's goals:
Fitness: See below
Language: Nothing this week
Dance: Mu went to a dance class taught by Bret and Melissa yesterday!  He had fun and they said he did well.  I'm hoping I can join him in the future, but the timing didn't work out this time.

Elaine's goals:
Fitness: Trapeze, weeee!  I went to my first class yesterday, and while some of it came back ("Just like riding a bike, right?"  "Um...not so much..."), it was tiring and I'm super sore this morning.  I was sore even last night, especially where I got banged up from the trick, and this morning became somewhat miserable.  But it was so much fun!  I got a 10-class card, so I get to do this all summer!
Language: Nothing yet.  Probably won't be able to do this next week, either, but maybe?
Cooking: I made quinoa, does that count?  It's not new, but my mom enjoyed it.
Writing: As predicted, nothing this week.

Mutual goals:
C25K:  We have completed the first week!  The program is 3 runs per week, and we did the 3rd yesterday, all at the 25/5 walk/jog split.  The last time was slightly better than the 1st and 2nd, so I suppose it's getting better, but it's still rough.  We're happy to be doing it together, though -- I don't think we'd motivate ourselves on our own.  Next week will be hard, since we'll be apart for 2 of the runs, and we're moving to 24/6, so it'll be slightly harder.  We'll also have to figure out where to run to be on a better surface -- asphalt and concrete are both hard on shins and joints.
Sleep: Well, we've been getting up at 8, so that's something.  I haven't been getting to bed by midnight, so I've napped a little during the day, but that seems to be working OK.  Mu has been going to bed early and waking up too early, not sure what's up there.
Food: So...sort of.  We've been eating fewer snacks...
Activities: Several friend outings, yay!  And now, I'm in the airport, waiting for my flight to Boston for the SLEEP conference, so there will be more friend socializing for me!  Mu is staying here, but he'll probably hang out with family and friends over the weekend.

Beginning a routine

Yesterday was the first full day of the summer of self-improvement, so let me try this summary format for updating and see how you all like it.

Mu's goals:
Fitness: See mutual goals below
Language: Mu has learned how to say "good morning!"
Dance: None so far, but he's taking a class soon!

Elaine's goals:
Fitness: See mutual goals
Language: Nothing at all...
Cooking: Nothing today -- my mom made tons of food for our arrival, so there's no point in making more.
Writing: Also nothing, which I think will be the case until I return from my conference next week.

Mutual goals:
C25K: Today was a "rest" day, but we walked around downtown for about 75 minutes, so we felt like we got some exercise -- nearly 4 miles of slow walking.  We've both been weirdly sore, I didn't think 5 minutes of jogging was going to affect us so much!
Sleep: Got up at 8am, as I mentioned yesterday.  It was a little rough and we both felt slow for a while, but we managed.  We both really wanted a nap, but by the time we got really sleepy, it was after 3pm (the recommended cut-off time for a daytime nap not to interfere with nighttime sleep), so we refrained.  Mu managed to go to bed on time, but I stayed up a little late.
Food: We've decided that with all the amazing summer fruit here, fruit is an exception to the "little to no snacks" rule -- we want to eat a good amount of it, and we don't always want to include it with a meal, and it's a healthier snack than most. So we had fruit throughout the day.  Our meals were also a little wonky -- we had breakfast and lunch as usual, but then we had cocktails and small munchies as an early dinner, and another small munchie as second dinner?  I don't know.  Not quite on a schedule, but at least it didn't feel like too much food.

Activities: Socialized with friends, explored a new-to-us restaurant -- Taverna Aventine. 

All in all, a decent start.  I think we'll both need to figure out how to schedule time for all the different things, but not bad so far.

Fun things to do this summer

 Two posts in one day?  Weird!  But this felt like a suitable add-on to the start of summer update, so here it is.

In addition to the self-improvement goals, there's a whole list of fun stuff we/I want to do this summer.  Some of the things, we already have plans to do, while others are more tentative, need-to-fit-this-in.  Here's a large-ish list, of which I'm not sure how much I'll actually accomplish. :)  Oh, and trapeze counts as a fun thing, but I've already listed it in the self-improvement section, since it's actually a workout.  Yay for fun workouts!

Friends to see: lots and lots!  We have definite plans with a bunch of people, but many more that we still need to contact.  Plus, I'd like to make it out to bab5 (not this week, but maybe next?) more regularly.  And we want to visit with Mu's family, and I want to spend more time with my nieces.
Concerts: Jonathan Coulton (we have tickets!  with Cin and Eric!), Alice Summerthing (conflicts with Pride, so not sure)
Movies: Footnote, Romeo and Juliet in Yiddish, First Position, Brave, MIB3
Restaurants: Kingdom of Dumpling, Tekka Japanese (possibly with Cin's husband, who also likes raw fish), Shabu Sushi, State Bird Provisions, Cafe Ethiopia, LoveJoy's Tea Room, probably many more -- I need a buddy for these, as I mentioned on Facebok a while ago.  Mu will go with me to some of them, but probably not all.
Musicals: American Idiot (have tickets for next next week), Les Miz (have tickets with David and Colleen for August)
Costume parties with Cin: Lord of the Rings, pirate, Downton Abbey
Trips: Boston (starting Friday), Seattle with Cin to visit Nik (we have tickets!), Harbin Hot Springs with lots of friends (cabin booked!), Russian River
Other activities: SF Ethnic Dance Festival, SF Pride, Great America with my older niece (I think we have a date set), Raging Waters with Mu and both nieces (need to set date), Top Chef Live (got tickets for Mom and myself), Cult of Beauty exhibit at the Legion of Honor, the Fashion World of John Paul Gaultier exhibit at the De Young, getting more tea (I have a groupon for Aroma Tea Shop)

So, like I said, long list!  A lot of it actually seems doable, though I'm sure more will get added as summer goes on!

Summer of self-improvement (and hopefully, a return to blogging)!

Hello!  I'm back!  Did you miss me?  Please don't answer that if the answer is "no." :)  Anyways, as I'm sure you realized, between my dissertation proposal and some trips and other craziness, I have fallen away from the blogging thing.  I've kept up somewhat with the cooking thing, though that has also varied.  But, now Mu and I are in SF for the next 2.5 months (minus 2 trips on my part), and we have goals for the summer!  Those feel sufficiently like projects that I think I can safely blog about them here.  Plus, I will hopefully be cooking again.

So, to get started, I'll tell you what our goals are.  They fall mostly into the "get in better shape" category, with a few random other things.  Mu's goals are: to learn Russian, to lose 20 lbs, and to learn ballroom dance.  Mine are: to learn Italian, to take trapeze, to improve my core strength (through maybe pilates, and also through aerial conditioning classes), and to cook at least several times a week (which will be more possible once my parents put in a small stovetop in their in-law unit, where we're staying).  Oh, and I also want to finish all the paperwork needed to get my dissertation running in the fall, as well as submit my master's data for publication.  Our mutual goals are: to run a 5K, to regularize our sleep schedules (trying for a midnight-8 approach, we'll see how it goes), and to eat more regularly and with fewer snacks (the French way).  I would theoretically also like to lose weight, but I don't do well with that as a specific goal -- I just get annoyed and give up.  I'm hoping that having more fitness-oriented goals will work better for me.  It seems likely that some of the goals won't be met by summer's end (learning languages, say, or running a full 5K), but I think we can make significant progress.

Yesterday, our first full day in SF, we started working on those goals.  We're doing a couck-to-5K (C25K) training program that's designed to take 12 weeks (nice and easy buildup, hopefully), and we started it yesterday. The program is designed for 3 workouts/week, 30 minutes each, with a mixture of running and walking.  The first week actually starts at just walking, which we are fine with, so we skipped to the 2nd week and modified it slightly based on what we felt we could manage.  We ended up alternating 5 minutes of walking with 1 minute of running for 30 minutes.  This was manageable (though next time, we need to go to a less hilly area -- we're not in good enough shape to run up hills!), so that's what we'll do for the next 2 training days and go from there.

The other thing we've started working on is sleep and meals.  Yesterday, we both did the 3 meals and no snacks thing, and it felt fine, but I'm not sure how it'll go for me specifically when I'm traveling next week.  I guess we'll see.  Last night, we also went to bed at midnight and woke up at 8 this morning.  This should've been enough sleep, but...wasn't.  But we're up and about, so hopefully we can manage.

So, that's the overview.  I think I'll try to write frequent summaries, and I'll only go into detail when the details are interesting (since bed and wake times really aren't).  I may also bring back some of the other features, like links and/or art. :)